


Exploring the Forbidden

by angstytimelord



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Eventual Sex, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-13 11:48:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4520811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstytimelord/pseuds/angstytimelord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannibal awakens desires in Will that he had never been aware of before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forbidden Kiss

Why was Hannibal looking at him like that?

They'd had a productive session, or so Will thought. They'd talked about a lot, and he still felt a little mixed up, as though he was emptied, hollowed out.

He usually felt this way after a session with Hannibal, actually. This man forced him to look inward, to view his own psyche, and there were times when he wasn't comfortable with what he found there. Hannibal made him see a side of himself that he didn't often acknowledge.

But at the same time, he felt that he was coming to know himself better, in a way that he never had before. So these sessions _were_ doing him some good.

Their sessions always ended like this. But tonight felt .... different.

Hannibal always walked him to the door, and they said a cordial good night before he went out, got into his car, and drove all the way home to Wolf Trap.

But tonight, something was _off_. Hannibal was gazing at him, a speculative look in those dark eyes. And Will could feel his heartbeat accelerating, pounding at such a rapid rate that he was almost certain the other man would be able to hear it beating from within his chest.

Hannibal looked as though he wanted to say something, but he didn't. He just stood there, gazing at Will, the look in his eyes something that Will had never seen before.

And then, with shocking suddenness, Hannibal reached for Will, pulling the slighter man against his body. His mouth was on Will's in a deep, searching kiss.

Will couldn't move, couldn't make a sound, could barely breathe. He had idly wondered what it would be like to be kissed by Hannibal, though he hadn't let his mind linger long on the question. After all, he was one of this man's patients. It was forbidden for them to have a personal relationship.

This kiss was forbidden. But still, it was happening, and Will could do nothing to stop it. He was being swept along on a tide of rising passion that he couldn't halt.

What was more, he didn't _want_ to make it stop.

When they finally broke apart, he could do nothing but stare at Hannibal, his blue eyes wide and questioning. But he didn't have to ask why Hannibal had kissed him.

He could see the desire in those dark eyes; there was no doubt that Hannibal wanted him. And with a shock, Will realized that he felt the same way. He _wanted_ this man, wanted those hands on his body, wanted more of those lips on his, wanted all that Hannibal could give.

That forbidden kiss had awakened desires that he had never dreamed he could have, desires that he wanted the two of them to explore to the fullest.

When their lips met again, this time he was ready for the kiss.


	2. Dangerously Intimate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will can't think clearly when he's this close to Hannibal.

Will drew back from the kiss, staring at Hannibal with wide blue eyes.

"Wh-why did you do that?" he finally asked, unable to stop his voice from trembling. His senses were whirling, spinning, out of control.

Hannibal was still holding him; they were so close that he could feel the other man's heartbeat against his own. This was a situation that he hadn't expected to be in.

This felt dangerously intimate, as though anything could happen between them. This had been something that he had only dreamed of, and then had pushed aside as being impossible. This couldn't be happening, Will told himself, that inner voice almost frantic.

Was he dreaming? He had to be. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't _real_. In another few moments, he would wake up in his own bed, drenched in sweat, breathing heavily.

But it _was_ real. He was standing here in the circle of Hannibal's arms -- and he had just been thoroughly kissed, so much so that his lips still tingled.

It didn't seem possible -- and yet it had happened.

What did Hannibal feel for him, if anything? Did this man want him? Was that kiss, this embrace, just a prelude to what else might happen tonight?

No, nothing else would happen. He was sure of that. Hannibal would give him time to get used to this sudden shift in their relationship, to ponder it.

And Will was sure that Hannibal would do the same thing himself. The other man was nothing if not cautious -- he'd seen that caution before. Hannibal wasn't simply going to jump into something head first without weighing the options and being sure that he was doing the right thing.

He didn't think that the man who was holding onto him so tightly was simply going to throw his ingrained caution to the winds and let himself be carried away by passion.

Was that what this was? Passion? Simple desire, and nothing more? He didn't want to believe that. He wanted to think that he _meant_ something to Hannibal.

The man's next words proved that fact. "Will, there is something far more intimate building between us than simply the roles of patient and psychiatrist," Hannibal said, his voice very soft and husky. "Even more than friendship. I believe that there is .... a component of desire there."

Will couldn't speak, couldn't even move. He wanted to say something, to tell Hannibal that he was right, to nod his head in agreement. But he was frozen in place.

How had Hannibal _known_ what he felt? He had never let it show -- at least, he thought he hadn't. He'd been so careful to keep that desire hidden.

He had even tried to hide it from himself.

But his feelings could no longer be hidden. He _wanted_ Hannibal, wanted to be with him. He wanted more than the friendship they currently shared.

Being Hannibal's patient, even being his friend and colleague, wasn't enough for him. He should have known that it wouldn't be enough. There had been an intense spark between them, 

Will didn't know why he felt so drawn to this man; it had been a mystery to him from the beginning. He couldn't put a name to what he felt, other than knowing that it was a fierce, primal _desire_ that came from somewhere deep within him. It was attraction, plain and simple.

Though he was sure that nothing about his feelings for Hannibal could be labeled as _simple_. Everything that he felt was complicated, tied up in knots.

Still, he owed it to himself to explore those feelings, didn't he? If he didn't, then he would spend the rest of his life regretting it and wondering what might have been.

He'd done that in the past. He wouldn't do it yet again.

He had felt this intimacy between them from the first time they had met. He had been touched in some place deep within himself, a place that no one else had ever found.

Why did it have to be this man? Despite the desire that flowed between them, despite the intimacy they shared, Will felt a sense of danger, of foreboding.

"I-I can't think about this," Will stammered, shaking his head. "Not tonight, Hannibal. It's too soon. I can't just jump into this without thinking about it. It's a big decision for me to make." He knew that he was babbling, but he had to get away from here, away from this man, to clear his head.

He knew what he wanted, but he couldn't just take a leap of faith. He had to turn it over in his head, to know that he was doing what was good for him, not just what he _wanted_.

He had to put some distance between them. They were dangerously intimate now, dangerously close, and his self-control was far too close to the breaking point.

Hannibal's arms fell away from Will, and he nodded.

"All right, Will," he said, his voice still soft. "If this is how you feel, then I'll give you time. But be warned. I will not wait forever. And I am not a man who is used to being denied."

Will nodding, gulping as he moved away from the other man. He felt dizzy, disoriented. He needed to get away from here, to his own home where he could think clearly behind locked doors, away from the rest of the world. He had to be able to _think_ about what Hannibal had said.

But he already knew what the outcome would be, as surely as he knew his own name. He could say that he had to think, but really, he'd already made up his mind.

Of the choices presented to him, he would choose Hannibal.

He really had no choice about that, did he? Because in spite of the dangerous intimacy that they had developed, he was excited by their closeness, aroused by it.

He would follow those feelings to see where they might lead.

Will took a deep, shuddering breath as he turned toward the door. "Good night, Hannibal," he said, letting himself out of the house and walking to his car on trembling legs.

It was a long drive home, and he had a lot to think about.


	3. Part of His Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will lies awake at night, debating the pros and cons of becoming seriously involved with Hannibal.

He might as well face it. He wanted to be part of Hannibal's life.

But not just in the way that he was now, as a patient, a colleague, and, he hoped, as a friend. He wanted to be much, much more than simply a friend.

He wanted to be a part of Hannibal's life in an intimate way. He wanted to be the man who Hannibal chose to be with, the man who he fell in love with.

Will sighed softly as he lay back against the pillows, crossing his arms behind his head and staring up at the ceiling as the moonlight played across it, creating swaying shadows. He didn't want to look at the clock; he knew that it was the middle of the night, and that he had hardly slept.

Thinking about Hannibal, about how much he wanted to be with the other man, kept him up at night. All he could think about was that one desire, the desire that was never assuaged.

He'd had a chance to make those desires known tonight, to bring them out into the light. If he'd acted differently, he might even be in Hannibal's bed tonight, instead of his own.

He just hadn't had the courage to voice those desires out loud.

No, instead of stepping up to the plate, being brave, telling Hannibal what he really wanted, he had turned and run away, as he always did where this man was involved.

Hannibal made him nervous -- and scared him. He'd never been seriously involved with a man before, and he knew that if they did begin a relat8ionship, it _would_ be serious.

Hannibal wasn't the kind of man who did anything lightly. He wouldn't have a casual affair -- he would expect that the two of them share a commitment, something that would last. Will didn't doubt that for a moment. But he wasn't sure if he was ready for all that could entail.

A part of him wanted it, but another part held back.

Could he deal with not being alone any longer, not having his solitude? Would it be easy for him to slip into someone else's life, and to let them into his?

Or would it be the hardest thing he'd ever tried to do? Will doubted his ability to make things work. He doubted that he could sustain a serious relationship.

But like Hannibal, he didn't want them to be merely a casual fling.

That wasn't what he wanted his first real, serious relationship to be like. No, he wanted the two of them -- _if_ they ever became a couple -- to be completely committed to each other, to have something that would last forever. He wasn't going to let himself settle for anything less.

What he wanted was perfection, Will thought with a sigh, shaking his head and smiling wryly. And he should know that such a thing was possible in _any_ relationship.

Maybe he should try to let it be enough to simply be a part of Hannibal's life as his friend and colleague. It was far too dangerous to let anything else happen between them.

Though even as the thought coalesced, he knew that he couldn't do that.

Hannibal's kiss had taken that choice away from him. There was no way now that he could be satisfied with the two of them just being friends. It had gone too far.

The moment their lips had met, he had known that he wanted to be part of the other man's life in an intimate way. That kiss had sealed the deal for him.

There was no turning back now that Hannibal had kissed him. He still had to wrap his mind around the fact that the man he desired seemed to feel the same way about him, but he knew that he could no longer turn away from his own desire and keep tamping it down.

The cat was out of the proverbial bag now. He was sure that Hannibal had sensed how he felt, and that the subject would come up the next time they talked.

He almost wanted to reach for his phone and call Hannibal now, but he knew that would be a mistake. He couldn't just jump into this. He had to _think_.

Though what was there to think about, really? He knew what he wanted.

He wanted Hannibal. And apparently, Hannibal also wanted him. There was no way that the other would have kissed him like that if he didn't mean business.

They'd have to talk about their obvious mutual attraction to each other. There was no way around that. But Will found himself shying away from the talking -- maybe because he still had reservations about becoming involved with Hannibal, despite the desire he felt for the other man.

He didn't know why he felt that reluctance, but he couldn't deny the fact that it was there. It was disturbing, a niggling thought that lingered around the shadowy corners of his mind.

He would have to push that thought aside when he talked with Hannibal.

Will took a deep breath, closing his eyes. It was no use to lie here and think about wanting to be a part of Hannibal's life. He had to make that happen with action, not thoughts.

He _would_ make it happen. They _would_ talk this through.

Maybe, before too much longer, they would be doing a lot more than simply talking.

Will could feel his heartbeat speed up at that thought. He forced himself to keep taking deep breaths, knowing that it was the only way he'd be able to lull himself into sleep.

He had to get some rest, or he wouldn't be able to think clearly.

Though at the moment, Will wondered if he would ever think clearly again.


	4. That Single Brief Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The memory of Hannibal's kiss has seared into Will's mind, refusing to go away.

Hannibal had kissed him. He'd _kissed_ him.

Will sat in his car outside Hannibal's house, his hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. For some reason, he couldn't force himself to let go.

He couldn't move, couldn't make himself get out of the car and go up those steps, knock on the door. He knew that he had to, if he wanted things to move forward, but he was rooted to the spot, as though he was paralyzed. He couldn't unclench his hands, or move a muscle.

Why was he so nervous and tense? Will asked himself, his inner voice almost angry. He knew what he wanted. This shouldn't be so hard for him.

But it was. It was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

What if he had only imagined the fierceness, the longing, the _need_ in Hannibal's kiss? What if he had built that brief contact up into something it wasn't?

That one brief kiss had changed his life forever. It had brought his desire for Hannibal out into the open -- and he was sure that desire had been communicated to Hannibal. The other man was too astute not to have read him like a book. Even if he denied the fact, Hannibal would _know_.

He wasn't going to deny the truth. He wanted Hannibal. He always had, ever since they had first met, though he'd struggled for far too long to tamp that desire down.

Well, now it was out there in the open, the elephant in the room. Which was why it was so hard for him to force himself to get out of the safety of his car.

As long as he stayed here, he had the option of driving away, without Hannibal ever knowing he'd been here. Though Will doubted that was the case; he was sure that by now, Hannibal had looked out of one of the numerous windows of his house and see the familiar car outside.

Why was this so hard for him? That single brief kiss should have opened doors wide, not made him feel as though some of those doors were rapidly slamming shut.

It was his own fear of what could happen between them in the future that was holding him back. He had to overcome that fear, had to put it behind him.

He had to crush that fear, grind it to powder beneath his heel.

Will felt unhinged, as though he was floating above the earth, not connected to anything. But he was moving, getting out of the car, closing and locking the door.

He was walking up the steps slowly, one at a time, his footsteps slowing as he stepped onto the porch. He was walking up to the door, raising his hand to knock -- then hesitating before he did so. Once, twice, three times. Then he dropped his hand to his side, waiting.

Will closed his eyes when he heard footsteps on the other side of the door, the memory of that single brief kiss in his mind again, filling his senses.

He knew that memory was in his eyes when Hannibal opened the door. 

Will tensed, unsure of what would happen next. Would Hannibal kiss him again? Or would the other man simply stand back and invite him in?

Those dark eyes watched him, hooded, unreadable. Then Hannibal smiled and stepped back, gesturing for WIll to enter the house. "Will, this is a surprise. I hadn't expected to see you for another day, until our session tomorrow night. What brings you here?"

Will took a deep breath, unsure of what to say. The memory of that kiss still hung between them, he was sure that Hannibal was thinking of it, too.

He walked into the house, unsure of what to say.

The door closed behind him, the sound of the lock clicking resounding in his mind.

He didn't know what to say. For a moment, just a moment, his mind was a swirl of white noise, and he was once again unable to move, or think clearly.

Then the mists cleared, and he knew what he wanted to say. What he _had_ to say to make those doors that had seemed to slam shut swing open again.

"We need to talk," he said softly, knowing that Hannibal would understand exactly what he meant.


	5. From Innocence To Experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal reveals his feelings to Will, and wonders what the reaction will be.

"Why did you kiss me?"

Will had turned to him, his voice shaking slightly, his blue eyes wide. Hannibal simply looked at him, his lips curving into a smile, not answering.

The truth was, he wasn't sure that he _had_ an answer. Not one that he could put into so many words, anyway. He didn't think Will would understand his reasons for that kiss; if he tried to explain why he had done it, then it would feel as though it had been somehow cheapened.

He didn't want to explain his reasoning, and he didn't think he could. It annoyed him that Will wanted an explanation. Some things were better left unsaid.

But he knew that Will wouldn't give up until he heard something.

So he had to come up with a reason for that kiss, a reason that would sound plausible to Will's ears, a reason that he would accept and be able to live with.

What could he say that Will would believe? He almost wanted to tell the young man the truth, to let Will know exactly how he felt, and just what that kiss had taken place. 

Why shouldn't he? Hannibal asked himself. Why shouldn't he give Will the truth? It wouldn't hurt him to know, and then his feelings would be out in the open. There was nothing wrong with telling Will the truth. Perhaps it would be a good thing for him to know what he was dealing with.

"I kissed you because you are innocent, Will," he said, his voice soft and husky. "I value that innocence. I want to shape it, to nurture it, to take you from innocence to experience. I want to be the man who you choose to give yourself to, and the man who you let yourself .... have feelings for."

There. He had said it. Now it only remained to be seen just what Will would do. Hannibal had no idea what reaction his words might precipitate.

Would Will turn and run away? Would he not be able to handle what he had just heard? Or would he stand his ground, take a step forward, and meet his destiny?

For he _was_ Will's destiny. He had no doubts about that.

He would guide and shape this young man, turn Will into what he wanted him to be. And along the way, Will would become the perfect lover.

Will was the one he had waited for, the one his soul hungered for. He would keep this young man by his side, make Will become all that he had the potential of being. And he would make sure that Will enjoyed every step of that journey; he would make it worth the other man's time.

Of course, he would enjoy it himself, he thought as he gazed at the young man standing in front of him, waiting for Will's reaction to what he'd just been told.

He could hardly wait to hear what Will was going to say.


	6. A Tangible Presence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunger within Will can't be held back for much longer.

Will just stared at Hannibal, unable to say anything.

What was it about this that roused such an insatiable hunger within him? He could almost feel his blood roaring through his veins, feel the desire rushing through his body.

No, he wasn't going to take a step towards Hannibal, he told himself. He refused to give in to that desire; he wasn't going to make a fool of himself. Even if Hannibal wanted him, he wasn't going to give in just like that; Hannibal wouldn't respect him if he was prize to be won too easily.

Hannibal would expect to have to give chase, wouldn't he? He wasn't the kind of man who would have a high regard for anyone who simply threw themselves at him.

Still, this hunger was something that he couldn't deny.

Will had never felt this way about anyone before; he didn't even know where this raging desire came from, and in some ways, it terrified him.

This kind of hunger was completely new and unfamiliar to him. He'd had crushes on people before, of course, but he had never felt anything this strong, this unnerving. He had never felt real _desire_ before, and it was as frightening as it was exhilarating.

Did Hannibal feel this way about him? Was that why this man had kissed him? He wanted to know what Hannibal felt, what his intentions were, before he gave in.

Or could he give in to whatever this man wanted without knowing exactly where it would lead? Could he surrender his senses, just jump in head first?

That wasn't in his nature, not really. He was always cautious; from childhood he had always looked both ways before crossing any street, and been careful to protect himself from the world. But this time, something within him encouraged him to take a chance, to risk himself in every way.

Would that be the best thing to do? Will asked himself, hesitating, simply standing there and staring at Hannibal. He didn't know what to say or do. He was paralyzed.

Hannibal's smile quirked one corner of his mouth, tantalizing, teasing.

At that look, something within Will broke open, spilling out his desire as though it was a tangible presence there between the two of them.

The hunger that was building within him roared up and out, washing over him like a rain shower that had erupted out of nowhere. It was as though he was consumed by heat, the heat of desire, the heat of passion. All he wanted was to be in this man's arms, with those lips on his own.

He stepped forward at the same time that Hannibal did -- and suddenly, he was in the other man's arms, pressed against the warmth of Hannibal's body.

And this time, the hunger within him knew no boundaries.


	7. Fire in His Veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal's kiss sends a raging fire through Will's body and soul.

A fire coursed through Will's veins, one that he couldn't control.

He wasn't entirely sure just how this had started, but he knew that he didn't want it to stop. He wanted to stay here in Hannibal's arms forever, being held and kissed.

This kiss had been unexpected, just like that first one had been -- but this time, he threw himself into it, letting it sweep him away into another world, letting it clouds his senses until all that was left was the fire that seemed to burn through him into his very soul.

This kiss, as well as the first one, was etched onto his heart and soul, branded into his memory. It would be with him until the end of time itself.

This kiss was fierce, demanding .... and possessive.

It was unlike anything Will had ever known, exhilarating, thrilling -- and even a little frightening. He had never felt such strong emotion -- or such overwhelming physical desire.

The fire that burned through his veins seemed to take over every part of him; he had never wanted anyone like this before, and no desire that he'd ever felt had prepared him for this. Will gasped into the kiss, his fingers curling into the short hairs at the nape of Hannibal's neck.

He could feel the other man's desire for him; Hannibal's arousal was obvious, and he was sure that the evidence of his own desire was just as prominent.

The kiss ended just as abruptly as it had begun; Hannibal pulled away slightly, but kept Will in his arms, his embrace tightening even as their lips parted.

Will wanted this to last forever, wanted the kiss to go on and on, though he knew that realistically, they would have to come up for air at some point. He stared at Hannibal, his blue eyes wide, unable to speak a word, the fire that boiled through his entire being starting to slowly recede.

He was throwing caution to the winds; he wasn't going to hold back any longer. He knew that he wanted Hannibal, and there was no reason for them to deny themselves.

For once, he was going to take what he wanted.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was in actuality only a few moments, Will found his voice. "So what happens now?" he asked, his voice hoarse and cracked.

Hannibal smiled at him, the look igniting the fire in in Will's veins even further. He had never seen that look in anyone's eyes before when they gazed at him, but he had no doubt as to what it meant. Hannibal desired him; that look left no question of that in Will's mind.

"Now, we go upstairs, and continue this in more private surroundings," Hannibal said, his voice husky. He moved away slightly, then took Will's hand.

Silently, both men headed up the stairs, hand in hand.


	8. The Hunger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will's hunger for Hannibal has finally been allowed to come to the surface.

This couldn't be happening. It just didn't seem real.

But it _was_ real, Will told himself as he felt Hannibal's fingers working at the buttons of his plaid shirt, loosening them until the fabric was open.

When Hannibal slipped the shirt from his shoulders, he didn't try to keep it on his body; he simply let it fall to the floor as he stared at the other man. Hannibal's hand came up to caress his cheek, and then those lips were on his again, the kiss more eager this time.

Will's head fell back, and he moaned into Hannibal's mouth. It hardly seemed possible that he was going to give himself to this man -- but he was.

He didn't doubt that for a single moment.

How could he not? He had hungered for Hannibal more with each time they met, even though he hadn't really understood just _why_ he felt this way.

Now, he had a chance to appease that hunger, to sate it fully, and he was going to do just that, no matter what the consequences might be. Hannibal was obviously more than willing to go along with that plan, so he was going to deal with the consequences later.

He didn't care what anyone else might think of what they were doing.

It was unethical. It wasn't right. Since he was technically Hannibal's patient, he could lose his license to practice psychiatry by taking Will to bed.

But at the moment, he didn't care about that. He didn't care about anything other than feeling Hannibal's lips on his, and those hands on his body.

He was right where he wanted to be, and he wasn't leaving.

All he wanted was to be in bed with Hannibal, to have this man take him, to make Will his own. He couldn't say just why he felt so strongly about being with Hannibal, but it was enough for him that those feelings existed. He wasn't going to question them.

Hannibal had become the center of his world, and that world was tilting crazily from side to side. It wouldn't be upright again until he had what he wanted.

And what he wanted was Hannibal Lecter.

The hunger that he felt for Hannibal's kiss, his touch, was something that he couldn't deny. And he couldn't hold back that hunger any longer.

This was what he wanted, Will thought, moaning softly as Hannibal's hands moved down his sides, then began working at his belt buckle. The other man's mouth swallowed that moan, taking his again in a kiss that was almost fierce in its possession of him.

There was nowhere else that he wanted to be, he thought as he raised his shaking hands to begin undoing the buttons on Hannibal's shirt.

The hunger was surfacing, and it was far too late to push it back down now.


	9. Forbidden Knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of the sexual knowledge that Will feels has been forbidden to him for so long is finally going to be imparted to him -- by the man he desperately wants.

It didn't seem possible that this was actually happening to him.

He was here, with Hannibal, in the other man's bedroom, standing naked in front of him. Will could hardly believe that circumstance had led him to this.

He almost wanted to try to cover himself with his hands, though he knew that was impossible. Hannibal had already swept that gaze up and down his nude body.

The other man's gaze had been warm and appreciative; Will could tell that he liked what he saw. He had nothing to be ashamed of; he had a good body, and he knew it. He worked out, lifting free weights at home, even though he didn't like to go to a gym.

He'd had to keep in shape to maintain his job with the FBI, after all. Even though he wasn't a cop, he still had to maintain a certain level of physical prowess.

But he'd never put that physical side of himself into a relationship. It was a little daunting to admit to Hannibal that he'd never been with anyone in his entire life.

Not only had he never been with a man, but no woman, either.

Oh, he'd come close before. There had been a few makeout sessions when he was in college, and he had nearly gone all the way with a couple of women.

But he'd never quite made it there. Will hadn't stopped to ask himself just why that was before; he hadn't wanted to admit that he just didn't have any interest in women. Not that he had thought it was wrong, but he hadn't wanted to make himself seem any more different than he already was.

Of course, everyone had made jokes about him being gay anyway, so that little plot hadn't worked. And after a while, he had just give up trying to pretend to be straight.

But he hadn't dated anyone, and he supposed that had been a dead giveaway. Though of course, he hadn't dated any men, either. He had been simply been ..... uninterested.

At least, that was the vibe he'd tried to give out.

Until he had met Hannibal, and all of his carefully tended caution had gone up in flames. He had known from the first time they'd met that he was sexually attracted to this man -- but he had never dreamed that Hannibal could possibly feel the same way about _him_.

He had been so sure that his attraction wouldn't be returned that he'd tried to hide it, buried it under a guise of friendship. He hadn't wanted it to be obvious.

Though now, Hannibal had knocked down those walls that he'd so carefully built up, razing them to the ground and leaving Will utterly defenseless.

How was that possible? How had Hannibal managed to break through all of his cautionary words, all of those things he'd told himself about not getting involved? How had Hannibal managed to sear through to his very soul, to make him feel as though he wanted to throw caution to the winds?

It didn't matter how he'd done it. All that mattered was that he had.

There was so much knowledge within Hannibal, knowledge that Will had always felt was forbidden to him. And now, he was going to be able to learn all that had been kept from him.

He knew the rudiments of sex, of course. He knew what went where. But the actual physical sensations would be something completely new to him.

Hannibal was going to be his teacher. Hannibal was going to instruct him in the ways of pleasing a man -- and Hannibal would be the first man to pleasure _him_. The mere thought of what they would do together made Will's cheeks flame, his breath come a little faster.

Hannibal was going to make love to him tonight. He was going to gain some of that forbidden knowledge here and now, in this man's bed.

He was going to be taken, opened, fucked. And he wanted that.

He was going to lose his virginity tonight -- and he was going to enjoy the experience thoroughly. Will intended to let himself go completely, to savor every second.

All of the knowledge that had seemed forbidden for so long was finally going to be his. Tonight would only be the beginning of all that he would learn from this man.

Hannibal would show him all that he needed to know. He would finally be able to let himself go, to set a part of himself free that he felt he'd always had to shove down, to keep inside. With Hannibal, he could let that side of who he was be given free rein at last.

"You are beautiful, Will," Hannibal murmured, reaching out to stroke a hand down Will's cheek. "I have never seen such beauty before. I bow before you."

Will closed his eyes, turning his face into Hannibal's palm and nuzzling him. He just wanted to be touched, wanted to feel those hands all over his body.

He was burning for Hannibal. There was no hesitation, no fear.

This was all he wanted -- to be in bed with Hannibal, to have this man make love to him, to have Hannibal show him all about pleasure.

This would only be his first lesson, he told himself. There would be so much more to come; so many nights of passion that the two of them would share.

All of the knowledge that he had so wanted to have would be his -- and it would come to him from someone who he truly wanted. He wouldn't have to settle for a relationship that wasn't his ideal; he would have the man who his heart, body and soul yearned for.

And Hannibal would have _him_. He could see the desire for him written on the other man's face, feel it in his touch, hear it in the tone of his voice.

"So are you," he whispered, his throat suddenly tight and dry. "I want you, Hannibal. I want you to show me what you want. I want you to give me everything."

Hannibal only nodded, those dark, fathomless eyes searching Will's face.

"I will do just that, my sweet," he murmured, reaching out for WIll and pulling the younger man against him. The heat of his lips seemed to sear Will's skin from the inside out.

This was all he wanted, all that he could ever want, Will thought, his head spinning as he leaned against that lean body, leaned into the kiss.

His own hands were moving up Hannibal's back to clutch at his shoulders, trying to pull the other man closer against him. He wanted to feel Hannibal's skin against his own, wanted to tumble to the bed in a tangle of limbs, wanted to feel Hannibal thrusting deep inside him.

He would have all that, he thought to himself. There was no rush. They had all the time in the world. After all, this was only their first night -- the first of many to follow.

When the kiss finally broke off, the two of them stood there, staring into teach other's eyes, breathing hard, their desire evident, almost palpable in the air.

As one, they both moved toward the bed.


	10. Becoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal is pleased that Will is on his way to becoming exactly the way that Hannibal envisions him.

He wanted Will Graham. And now, he would have his desire.

Hannibal made a conscious attempt not to lick his lips; that would only frighten Will, and might send the young man scurrying for the door like a wounded animal.

The was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted Will naked on his bed, gasping and panting, begging him for more, utterly and completely willing.

That might not be easy to achieve, but somehow, he would manage it. He would coax Will into doing what he wanted; he was already more than halfway there, judging by Will's reactions so far. And he knew just how to wring more physical sensations from this encounter.

Of course, this would only be the first time, he told himself, again forcing himself not to show anticipation by licking his lips, or smiling.

Within months -- perhaps even only a matter of weeks, given Will's obvious desire for him -- he would have this young man exactly where he wanted him.

Completely subservient and yielding to his every demand.

That wasn't really in Will's nature, to be that subservient, and Hannibal well knew it. But it would be a challenge, bringing Will to heel, taking him over.

It seemed that he was already at least partially to that point, he thought, finally allowing his lips to curl into a gentle smile as he looked the other man up and down, enjoying the view, impressed with the slender yet muscular body that his gaze drank in.

Of course, that challenge wasn't the only reason that he wanted Will. The young man's obvious charms were reason enough for Hannibal to desire him.

He'd wanted to take Will to be for quite a while now; it had taken him much longer to achieve that objective than he'd thought it would.

But then, he hadn't counted on Will being quite so skittish.

He'd been surprised at that, but perhaps he shouldn't have been. After all, Will was no child who he could seduce into his arms with little to no effort. No, even though he had obviously never had a serious relationship before, he was a man, an adult, with an adult's sensibilities.

Though Hannibal was confident that he could easily make any reservations that Will might have dissipate as if they had never existed.

It wouldn't take much, he told himself, his smile growing imperceptibly. Will was ripe for seduction; he had known that ever since their first meeting.

And it had been obvious that the young man was attracted to him, as well, though Will had tried his best to hide that fact. Hannibal was amused by that attempt; Will should have known that he could be seen through quite easily, as dissembling didn't seem to come naturally to him.

Well, no matter. He was here now, though it had taken some time.

Not only was he here, but he was naked, willing, and ready. Hannibal was sure that he had never wanted anyone -- or anything -- as much as he wanted Will at this moment.

This was the culmination of months of patience on his part; he had anticipated this first night for a very long time. He had spent hours, days, weeks, all of these past long months since he and Will had met, maneuvering the young man as he would a mouse that he was leading through a maze.

Hmmm. No, he wouldn't think of Will as a mouse. He didn't like that analogy -- Will was much more than some random person in his life, or a faceless victim.

Did he actually _love_ Will? Of course not, he assured himself, pushing that thought aside as quickly as it had come into his mind. This wasn't love. It was simple desire.

But that desire -- that _lust_ burned hot and high, with no end in sight.

He could see his own desire reflected in Will's eyes; that blue gaze held lights that he had never seen there before, a curiosity that he intended to satisfy.

Oh, this first night would be glorious, he told himself. He and Will would discover each other physically, and he would find out just what his young lover enjoyed most.

It would take him a while to discover exactly how to fine-tune his relationship with Will; he knew that he wasn't going to discover everything that there was to know about this young man's desires within the space of one night. Of course not. That never happened with anyone.

They would have many, many nights ahead of them -- so many delicious hours were ahead for him to take his pleasure with Will, to be a guide and a teacher.

And of course, he would also teach Will what _he_ liked -- and what was expected of him. There were rules, and Hannibal would insist that Will followed them all.

In the end, he would have exactly what he desired.

He would be able to mold and shape Will, to get whatever he wanted from this young man. Will was already eager and ready; he would be easily malleable.

But even as that thought coalesced into his mind, Hannibal wondered if he was wrong. Will was a strong-willed man; it might not be so easily to impose his own will upon that beautiful mind that resided in Will, along with that strong spirit, that ingrained sense of right and wrong.

He would get past that, he told himself, smiling again as he pulled Will close against him. He would break down any reserve that still existed after tonight, bit by bit.

No matter how long it took, Will would eventually be completely his.

His creation. His masterpiece. Will would emerge like a chrysalis from a cocoon, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, newly formed in Hannibal's vision for him.

Will would be come what he has always been intended for, Hannibal thought as he lowered his mouth to the other man's. He was already well on the way.

In one quick movement, he turned and pushed Will down on his back, onto the bed.

In another moment, Hannibal was right there beside him.


	11. Lamb To the Slaughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being with Hannibal may lead to his own destruction, but that's a path that Will chooses to take.

This was the path of self-destruction.

Will was fully aware of that fact, but he didn't care. He was where he wanted to be, here with Hannibal, and for the moment, nothing else mattered.

This was what he wanted, what he'd longed for. This was the culmination of so many dreams that he'd had since he and Hannibal had first met.

He'd imagined this moment, being here naked with Hannibal beside him, equally bare. He'd thought that it would be exciting, arousing. But nothing had prepared him for just _how_ exciting it was, how the anticipation coursed through every fiber of his being.

All he wanted was for Hannibal to take him, to make him his. It would hurt; he didn't doubt that. He expected pain. But he also knew that there would be great pleasure.

Will didn't doubt for a moment that Hannibal would make this good for him, good for both of them. He knew that this man was an experienced lover.

Hannibal would make his dreams come true.

What would happen afterwards? At this point, he didn't much care about that. He didn't want to think about the future, about the consequences.

And there would be consequences. Will didn't doubt that, either. There would be darkness, as well as the light of the wondrous experience he was about to discover. They wouldn't be able to stop at just once. They would keep doing this, and sooner or later, they would be found out.

They wouldn't be able to keep their relationship a secret forever -- and truth be told, he didn't want to. He wanted the world to know that he was with Hannibal.

But it could hurt them both, in the long run.

Still, he didn't want to think about that fact. Not now. All he wanted was for this to begin, for the feelings he knew were being held out to him to open up.

He _needed_ this, more than he had ever needed anything. The fact that he could be sowing the seeds of his own destruction, and Hannibal's as well, didn't seem to mean much. Those facts were lost somewhere in the haze of desire and need that surrounded the two of them.

He reached for Hannibal, at the same time that the other man moved towards him. And then he was under Hannibal, the other man's body pinning him down.

It was frightening and wonderful at the same time. It was unfamiliar, and yet exhilarating; it was everything that he wanted, and nothing that he'd ever experienced before.

All he could feel and taste and think was Hannibal.

He just wanted to be close to Hannibal, to wrap himself around this man and never let go. That was the only thought in his mind, all that he could think of doing. And even as the thought coalesced in his mind, he did just that, his limbs wrapping around Hannibal and holding him close.

Will's eyes went wide when Hannibal's hand moved down the front of his body, those long, cool fingertips brushing over his cock, then moving lower.

Then those fingertips were circling his entrance, and Will knew what would happen next. Hannibal's fingers would be inside him, preparing him for what was to come.

He knew that he shouldn't tense up, that he should make himself relax so that the first shock of entrance would be easier for him, but it was impossible to do so. He could feel his muscles tensing, feel his body going rigid, and he hoped that it wouldn't make Hannibal stop.

He was relieved when it didn't; the pressure continued, more insistent now.

He swallowed a gasp when one finger pressed inside him, quickly followed by another. Then those fingers were pushing deeper, and Hannibal's mouth was on his.

It didn't matter that this would be his destruction. He would walk directly towards it, willingly, even gratefully, like a lamb going to the slaughter.

Nothing mattered except that he was with Hannibal, that he was finally going to experience what he had dreamed of for so long, from the moment that they had first looked into each other's eyes. Nothing mattered other than the fact that he finally had what he wanted.

Those searching, probing fingers slid out of him, and Will caught his breath, his body poised on the brink. He arched his back, raising his hips, silently begging.

Hannibal stared down at him, those dark eyes meeting Will's blue gaze.

When Hannibal entered him, Will cried out, though whether in pain, passion, or pleasure, he wasn't entirely sure. Maybe it was a combination of all three.

His legs instinctively raised to wrap around Hannibal's waist, as though he was drawing his lover closer into the heat of his body. He was clinging to Hannibal, even as the other man began to move within him, his own hips rising and falling with the primal rhythm.

It didn't take long for that rhythm to escalate, until all that Will could hear was the slap of flesh against flesh, the gasps and moans coming from both of them.

The air was filled with the sounds and scents of passion unleashed.

Will could feel himself spiraling upwards, in a continuous arc of pleasure that he never wanted to end. He was being lifted, higher and higher, closer to the stars.

Each thrust took him further into the heavens, raised him far above the earth until he felt that he was flying, that the pleasure couldn't possibly be any more intense.

And then, with a suddenness that was almost shocking, his climax broke over him, waves of pleasure crashing over his body, making him gasp and writhe in Hannibal's arms, the cresting sensations more incredible than he'd ever dreamed anything could be.

He closed his eyes, letting himself go, knowing that he had finally climbed that mountain, that he had planted a flag at the top of it for the world to see.

He was no longer alone, no longer one single entity. He and Hannibal had come together, joined and enjoyed each other; they were a part of each other's lives now.

He felt replete, complete, entirely satiated for the first time in his life.

Will whimpered softly when Hannibal slid out of him; he had wanted the two of them to stay locked together for as long as possible. He suddenly felt empty, bereft.

But then Hannibal rolled over and pulled him into those strong arms, and Will could feel his lover's heartbeat thudding against his own, the rhythms synching with each other. He hadn't felt this close to Hannibal when they'd actually been physically joined only moments ago.

His eyes were slipping closed; he couldn't keep them open. All he wanted to do was go to sleep, so that he could wake up in Hannibal's arms in the morning.

And then they would make love all over again.

Yes, this could possibly be his destruction. But what a way to go, Will thought to himself, smiling sleepily as he began to relinquish his hold on the waking world.

Will's last coherent thought before he sank into sleep was that if he was sowing the seeds of his own destruction, he was going to at least have a good time doing it.


	12. The Night Just Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he awakens in the morning alone in Hannibal's bed, Will can't help wondering if the night before meant as much to Hannibal as it did to him.

Will woke slowly, blinking in the bright sunlight, feeling a bit disoriented.

For a moment, he didn't remember where he was -- the memories of the night before came flooding back, bringing a burning blush to his cheeks and making his heart beat faster.

Had he and Hannibal really done all of those wonderful things together? Yes, they had, he told himself as he sat up, rubbing at his eyes and running a hand through his hair. He could feel it in his body; he felt different, as if he had somehow changed during the night.

Well, of course he had changed. He had lost his virginity last night, making love for the first time. Will blushed again, resisting the urge to hide his face.

There was no reason to. He was alone in the bedroom.

Hannibal was more than likely downstairs, making breakfast for the two of them, considering that it was Saturday morning and he had no patients on the weekends.

It still seemed absolutely unbelievable to Will that the previous night had actually happened. Hannibal Lecter had made love to him. After years of wondering what it would be like to surrender himself to someone physically, he had finally taken that irrevocable step.

His body felt a little sore; it was more than obvious what he'd been doing the night before, he thought as he threw back the covers and got out of bed, wincing a bit. 

But that was to be expected, wasn't it? After all, it was the first time. There _had_ been a little pain, but it hadn't lasted long, and was far outweighed by pleasure.

Last night really had happened, he told himself again as he pulled on his jeans, then the t-shirt that he had been wearing under his usual button-down plaid shirt. Did this mean that he and Hannibal were now in a committed relationship? They'd made love, after all.

Yes, they _had_ made love. But that only meant that it had happened once. It didn't mean that Hannibal wanted a commitment, Will cautioned himself.

Still, they were lovers now. That had to mean _something_.

And after the memory of what they'd done last night, the intimacies they'd shared, he was sure that it meant a great deal to Hannibal, as well.

At least, he hoped it did. Will opened the bedroom door an stepped out into the carpeted hallway, closing his eyes as the aroma of coffee and sizzling bacon met his nostrils. Yes, Hannibal was obviously making breakfast for them; he had to make his way downstairs to the kitchen.

What would be find there? Would Hannibal be as thrilled with the memory of the night just past as he was? What would his lover say to him when they spoke?

There was only one way to find out. Taking a deep breath, Will headed for the stairs.


End file.
